State of Our Union

Monday we celebrated our anniversary. 

Us in 1999

I got three gifts from my husband.  The first two were an amazing, supportive, expensive, pillow, and a novel.  What he really got me were rest and relaxation.  He knows me well.

The third gift was one I asked for.  I haven’t figured out many things regarding marriage, but this one I’ve learned:  If you want something, then ask for it.   It is not fair to expect mind-reading.  So, I asked for a love letter.  We wrote profusely when we were dating, especially in high school and when we were apart during college.  But it’s been a while since I’d received a love letter.  I was feeling a bit insecure in our relationship.  So, I told him how I was feeling and asked for what I wanted.

And he delivered!  On my pillow the evening of our anniversary, after he’d come home late, was my love letter.  It is beautiful, and it is encouraging, and it makes me feel loved.

On our anniversary, after our $1 taco lunch, we had a state of our union talk.  Honestly, it wasn’t much fun.  Frankly, it sucked.  I don’t often use that word, and I apologize if it offends, but it’s the only word that will do.  I had to express what I’ve been feeling and experiencing.  I had to listen to what he’s been feeling and experiencing and thinking.  I had to face truths about myself and our marriage. 

But we emerged better, stronger, and more in tune with our relationship. 

The next morning we heard Ecclesiastes 7:3, “Sorrow is better than laughter.”

We could have spent 30 minutes laughing at Modern Family, currently our favorite TV show.  That laughter would’ve been good for us, but the sorrow of an honest conversation will be so much better for us. 

I am grateful for a husband who gives thoughtful gifts, who gives requested gifts, and who gives the gift of honest conversation.

Us in 2011