When I reflect back on my time in high school, one feeling emerges--exhaustion. As an AP and honor student, cheerleader, dancer, student leader, community volunteer, church volunteer, and girlfriend, I was always on the go. I was always exhausted. I loved it, and I hated it. It's a pace of life I've since tried to avoid.
In addition to the crazy schedule, I was also not sleeping much. Most nights I tossed and turned in bed for hours listening to Q94 playing softly on the radio. The sleeplessness was usually the result of a guilty conscience. I was living a somewhat secretive, somewhat rebellious life at times, and it always caught up to me in the stillness and quiet of my room at night.
Those days are long gone, and I'm thrilled to say it has been years since a guilty conscience kept me awake. Here's why:
'the blood of Christ, who through eternal spirit offered himself unblemished to God, (will) cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God.' Hebrews 9:14
Today I am thankful for blood spilled that allows for my clear conscience, which in turn allows for my service to a living God and his church. I empathize with those who have yet to obtain the gift of a clean conscience. I pray that they realize that gift and in turn experience the thrill serving God. Even when it's hard, it's so much better than staying awake feeling the shame of a guilty conscience.