Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2012

Scars

There are two blog postings I’ve been planning to write since last week.When I sat down with my laptop ten minutes ago, I planned to launch into one of them.But I just can’t.The purpose of this blog was for me to process my faith, thoughts, feelings, and actions.I need to be true to that.So, what’s really on my mind… Anyone who works with people has to handle conflict…that means EVERY person in the world.Some professions make this more likely than others.I have a friend who works for the state taxation department; she handles lots of angry citizens on the phone.I have a twin sister who is a teacher.After only one year of teaching myself, I can attest to the amount of conflict teachers handle.(I’ve deleted my soap box on this issue down to this:Most teachers want to teach, to guide, and to help.They make 1,000 decisions a day.They will make mistakes.So do you, and so do your children.Please keep all of that in mind when you criticize them.) The pastorate is one of the professions that h…

Struggling for the Steadfast Spirit

I’m still praying, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”I’m still praying it, because I’ve yet to experience the renewal of a steadfast spirit.It’s been a week of monotony, details, sickness, sleeplessness, disappointment I’ve received, and disappointment I’ve doled out to others.I find disappointing others to be more exhausting than being disappointed. Yet, if I lift my head out of the mud for a minute, I see God reaching down to sustain me.I’m reminded that I haven’t been praying for a joyous spirit, or an exuberant spirit, or an overflowing spirit; it’s a steadfast spirit I’m after.When I have no more care within me to give, when documenting one more check or responding to one more e-mail just may push me over the edge, when I intermittingly hear the baby’s cries through the husband’s NyQuil-induced snores, when the tears of I-just-cannot-continue-like-this threaten to spill over, I receive words of encouragement that sustain me…for one more day…

Steadfast Spirit

One of the Scripture verses I claimed for 2012 was Psalm 51:10:Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. In January, God worked extensively in my heart, and I prayed “create in me in a pure heart, O God” over and over and over.It was an anthem I said at 3 a.m. treks to the nursery, in the shower, in the car, at work, at home in the madness of cooking/eating/bathing, and putting kids to bed.My heart is far from pure, but God and I are working on it and making progress, and I’m still praying part one of that verse almost every day. Now, it’s the second part, the “b” part of this verse, that’s haunting me.I need a steadfast spirit.My spirit fluctuates depending upon my mood, my family’s moods, my schedule, my family’s schedule, and what feels like a hundred other variables. Renew a steadfast spirit within me. I’m a pretty stable person; although my husband may disagreeJI’m fairly consistent and dependable.I’m easy to read, and if you know me, it’s pretty easy …

Pastors and Priests

I’ve been reading the book of Hebrews in the Bible for several months now.Amongst other ideas about Christ, angels, faith, and rest, this book has prompted me to reflect on this role I fill—ordained pastor.I do feel as if God has set me apart and called me to ministry.It’s an honor, a privilege, a burden, and something I approach with caution.As Spiderman says, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”I feel that responsibility to show people God, to teach them about Him, to lead them closer to Him, to represent Him, to speak His truth. Hebrews 5:2-4 says of a priest, “He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness.This is why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins, as well as for the sins of the people.No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was.” This is a large part of what I do.I try to deal gently (most of the time) with people who lack knowledge of God and are some…