Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from May, 2013

Could your child be the other person?

Sunday I said that some people have too many people in their marriages.  I've heard from one friend who's already realized who the extra person in her marriage is.  One of the examples I gave was a son or daughter.  I've had a request to discuss that idea further, so here goes.

First, I don't know that I'm right about this.  So, I welcome feedback.  I've recently purchased Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend's Boundaries with Kids book.  If figuring out relationship connections versus boundaries is of interest to you, then I encourage you to check out one of their many books on boundaries in general, boundaries in marriage, boundaries in dating, boundaries with teenagers, and more.

Second, many of us struggle to balance our connection with our kids and our connection with our spouse.  On one hand, our kids are with us for such a short amount of time.  We want to love on them, teach them, and spend time with them while we can.  On the other hand, our kids …

I'm glad you liked it, ...

but....

there are limits to some of the teaching I did on marriage Sunday.
Yes, both people in a marriage are responsible for working through the problems.  But there is a limit to how far that goes.  Addiction is the first example that comes to mind.  If he’s an addict, then I do believe both spouses have responsibility to work on that.  She needs to support him in getting or maintaining help and not putting stumbling blocks in his path.  She needs to get support for herself with counseling or an Al-Anon group.  But he has to work on his addiction.  I did not mean to advocate co-dependency.
I didn’t mean to throw my husband under the bus.
In a part of Sunday’s message when I talked about the struggles in my marriage, I came across as too harsh on my husband.  Between the filming of the sermon for Westchester and the live preaching event at Powhatan, I realized some of my language was too pointed, and I made adjustments.  Only the Powhatan campus heard those adjustments; the Westchester a…