Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Endeavor to Be Better

I’m in a phase of life where I’m trying…hard.  I’m trying to be a better person, wife, mom, employee, leader, and Christ follower.  I’m not succeeding so far.  I’m working to relax, have fun, and enjoy life.  I’m consciously trying not to clench my teeth and to relax my shoulders, daily behaviors that result in headaches and sore muscles and betray the constant anxiety within.  I’m trying to get back into the Bible, hence this blog.
Then life happens.  Kids get sick.  Kids don’t sleep; I don’t sleep.  I hurt someone’s feelings.  Someone makes me steaming, crying, red-faced angry—within minutes of my reading Scripture and praying.  So, I re-read the Scripture, and I find nothing that relates to my current situation.  I want to cry, eat a big bowl of pasta with fattening cream sauce, lie on a couch, under a blanket, and fall asleep to a chick flick.
But I’m at work…on a day I was supposed to take off but cannot, because I’m utterly swamped with tasks that must be done by tomorrow or Sunday.  I’ll leave work this evening, go home to two adorable kids, and watch them alone all night while my husband’s at a meeting.  I’m exhausted.
Life isn’t going to stop happening so that I can become a better person.  I must become a better person in the midst of life, maybe in spite of it.  I cry out to God for his help and his grace…and I go back to work.

1 comment:

  1. One of the great joys of our current work situation is flexibility. Do what you must today, and know that there will be room to breathe soon. Take the time you need. God will give you help and grace through it all. You are loved, by Him, by those you work with and by those you work for.