Behind the Marriage Message

A month ago, as I started thinking about this past message on marriage, a few things were on my mind. 
Reverends Frame
at the marriage retreat

#1—PCC’s annual marriage retreat was a week before the message.  We didn’t want to duplicate material from the retreat in this message.  And, as a pastor who was helping teach at the retreat (which ended up being a lot of fun, but was crazy intimidating), I was freaking out about how I would come up with enough material.  So, I started reading.  I read books for the marriage retreat sessions.  And I kept reading, looking for other material that might help with a message.  I stopped reading one book halfway through; it was like a never-ending blog post, and I wasn’t connecting with the author. 

Then I found this book.  I referenced it in my message Sunday.  It’s short, accessible, and written by a man, which was refreshing after the rambling female voice in the never-ending blog post book (Yes, I’m aware of the irony that I am a female who writes with a female voice in blog post form.).  It’s one of those short books that references lots of other books, articles, and studies; I found the “Notes” in the back very helpful.  This book doesn’t lay out secrets to a successful marriage, or a recipe for relating to the opposite gender.  Thank goodness!  I’m so tired of those books.  If you’re like me and looking for a fresh approach to marriage, then check it out.  This is the guy who talked about 5 years of marriage behind like kindergarten, which gave me the idea to extrapolate out the Terrible Two's and Tantrum Three's of marriage.

#2—Not everyone is married.  Shocker, I know.  I consulted with two young, single people, one male and one female, about what I could discuss related to marriage that could help them.  They both said expectations.  Coming from a generation with a less-than-positive perspective about marriage, they wanted help forming realistic, God-honoring expectations of marriage.  They wanted a chance to start forming expectations now, before they’re married.  So, that’s what I set out to do.  While I didn’t explicitly address the unmarried population in my message, and I should have, I did consider them; actually, I let them inform the direction I would take. 

The direction I took with Scripture, well, that was all mine.  Maybe I’ll do another blog post about that...


  1. Your message is one that will stick. Thank you for taking the time to guide us well. God is delighted.


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