Thursday, January 24, 2013

I'm a girl...and an adult.



I’m a girl…and an adult.

Both of those nouns scare me.

First, the girl piece.  I’ve always been girly.  I like clothes, make-up, decorating, jewelry, painting my nails, and wearing high heels.  I was a dancer and a cheerleader.  I’m a wife and a mom.  I’m most definitely a girl.

But, I’m not so good at relating with girls.  Girls scare me.  Every female knows how scary other females are.  It’s why girls are so emotionally tough; they terrorize each other from preschool on up.  And when I’m around really girly girls, with the tossing of hair, the perfect faces and magazine-cover homes, the giggling, the shrieking—I feel very uncomfortable.

I also get turned off by talk of what girls are like versus what guys are like.  Of course there are some generalities.  But, for example, I know females who’d rather watch live sports than reality TV and action movies than chick flicks.  I also know guys who are sensitive and caring, and girls who are locked-up blocks of ice.

Those aren’t the only reasons I’m bad at relating with girls, though.  I remember being in high school and being sarcastic.  Guys thought it was funny; girls did not.  They yelled and cried and gossiped.  I preferred the guys’ laughter.

I also preferred the guys’ attention.  I was a bit of a flirt once upon a time—long, long ago.  That was a quick and easy way to alienate myself from other girls. 

Now, the adult piece.  Somewhere along the line, I became an adult.  I’m not sure exactly when that was; my husband thinks it was the moment I started driving a station wagon / little mini-van.  Regardless, I am in adult world now with the mortgage, the babies, the job, and the bills.

I work with adults.  But, since I was a teenager, I’ve been working with teenagers, too.  Lots of adults are intimidated in a room of 50 teenagers; that sounds relaxing and comfortable to me.  However, the flipside of my comfort with teenagers is my discomfort with adults.  Again, they scare me.

I like to think I’m making progress on both the girl and the adult fronts.  I have the pleasure of serving alongside other adult girls in student ministry at my church.  I have the joy of sharing a meal once a month with other adult girl pastors.  I have the honor of working alongside other adult girls on staff at church.  And, I genuinely like these ladies.  They may still scare me from time to time.  But, I like them, and I think they’re helping me learn how to relate to girls, to adults, and to adult girls.  

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