I’m a girl…and an adult.
Both of those nouns scare me.
First, the girl piece. I’ve always been girly. I like clothes, make-up, decorating, jewelry, painting my nails, and wearing high heels. I was a dancer and a cheerleader. I’m a wife and a mom. I’m most definitely a girl.
But, I’m not so good at relating with girls. Girls scare me. Every female knows how scary other females are. It’s why girls are so emotionally tough; they terrorize each other from preschool on up. And when I’m around really girly girls, with the tossing of hair, the perfect faces and magazine-cover homes, the giggling, the shrieking—I feel very uncomfortable.
I also get turned off by talk of what girls are like versus what guys are like. Of course there are some generalities. But, for example, I know females who’d rather watch live sports than reality TV and action movies than chick flicks. I also know guys who are sensitive and caring, and girls who are locked-up blocks of ice.
Those aren’t the only reasons I’m bad at relating with girls, though. I remember being in high school and being sarcastic. Guys thought it was funny; girls did not. They yelled and cried and gossiped. I preferred the guys’ laughter.
I also preferred the guys’ attention. I was a bit of a flirt once upon a time—long, long ago. That was a quick and easy way to alienate myself from other girls.
Now, the adult piece. Somewhere along the line, I became an adult. I’m not sure exactly when that was; my husband thinks it was the moment I started driving a station wagon / little mini-van. Regardless, I am in adult world now with the mortgage, the babies, the job, and the bills.
I work with adults. But, since I was a teenager, I’ve been working with teenagers, too. Lots of adults are intimidated in a room of 50 teenagers; that sounds relaxing and comfortable to me. However, the flipside of my comfort with teenagers is my discomfort with adults. Again, they scare me.
I like to think I’m making progress on both the girl and the adult fronts. I have the pleasure of serving alongside other adult girls in student ministry at my church. I have the joy of sharing a meal once a month with other adult girl pastors. I have the honor of working alongside other adult girls on staff at church. And, I genuinely like these ladies. They may still scare me from time to time. But, I like them, and I think they’re helping me learn how to relate to girls, to adults, and to adult girls.