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Change

I don't like change.  That's easy to figure out if you're around me much.  It sounds kind of harmless.  However, I am certain that my aversion to change has caused me to sin and has damaged my family at times.

I know that I don't like change.  I get anxious when it's sprung on me.  I get anxious when I know it's coming.  It doesn't seem to matter.

I'm not the kind of person who re-arranges her furniture often.  That's because I'm a bit of a perfectionist.  When it gets in the perfect arrangement or spot, then there's no point messing it up.  The only time I re-arrange furniture is when it's not RIGHT. 

However, as I was painting the tiny entryway at my home last night, I stopped.  I realized it's almost 5 years exactly since I moved into this house.  At first I thought, "Geez!  It's taken you 5 years to change this wall; you really don't like change."  Honestly, I've wanted to paint that wall for years.  It's the motivation and follow through part that tripped me up.

But I started thinking about how many things I HAVE changed in that house in the last five years.  Compared to August 2007, we have a different sofa, different living room chairs, a cabinet where a desk used to be, different living room curtains, different dining room curtains, different master bedroom curtains, different curtains in the kids' rooms, a nursery instead of a guest room, different kids' bathroom color, and different master bedroom bedding.  (The addition of two NEW PEOPLE is undoubtedly the biggest change, but that's a different story.)

What I've deduced is that I don't like changing the stuff I have, I like getting NEW stuff.

It would be more cost effective to change the placement of the things I have.  But that doesn't do it for me.  Whatever it is inside me that wants NEW stuff, wants NEW stuff.  I don't want antiques.  I don't want scuffed and scratched hand-me-downs, even if they are shabby chic.  I don't want to move the table from the bedroom to the living room; I want a new one.

I'm starting to think this reveals more about me than just my home decor, maybe more about me than I want to realize.  I like living in NEW communities, with shiny, NEW grocery stores, and shiny, NEW schools, and shiny, NEW cars, and shiny, NEW shopping centers.

...And people like me are the reason there are old, ugly, abandoned communities, grocery stores, schools, and shopping centers...

Comments

  1. Love this. Makes me think. Ow.

    You write things that resonate.

    ReplyDelete

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